Modest Proposal Example – [Edit & Download]

A Modest Proposal: Solving Traffic Congestion by Banning Private Cars

Submitted by: Concerned Citizens for Urban Efficiency
Date: March 3, 2025

Executive Summary
Traffic congestion is a growing problem in modern cities, leading to lost productivity, increased pollution, and rising stress levels among commuters. While many solutions—such as expanding public transit and promoting carpooling—have been attempted, they have failed to produce immediate results. Therefore, we propose a radical yet highly effective solution: ban private cars altogether and replace them with government-issued bicycles and mandatory walking zones.

Problem Statement
City streets are overflowing with cars, causing traffic jams that waste countless hours every year. Efforts to introduce better public transportation, bike lanes, and congestion fees have had little success in truly reducing gridlock. Additionally, the pollution from personal vehicles contributes to climate change and respiratory illnesses.

Proposed Solution
To ensure a swift and absolute resolution to urban traffic woes, we propose the following measures:

• Ban the ownership of private cars: Effective immediately, all privately owned vehicles will be confiscated and repurposed into scrap metal or public transportation fleets.
• Government-issued bicycles: Each citizen will be provided with one bicycle, reducing reliance on fossil fuels while improving public health.
• Mandatory walking zones: All city centers will become car-free, requiring residents to walk at least five miles daily, solving both traffic and obesity issues.
• Luxury pedestrian permits: Those who wish to avoid walking may apply for a luxury pedestrian permit at the cost of $10,000 per year, ensuring that only the truly dedicated have the privilege of personal mobility.

Objectives

• Eliminate all traffic congestion in urban areas.
• Improve air quality by reducing emissions to zero.
• Promote public health through mandatory walking.
• Reduce noise pollution and create a more peaceful city environment.

Implementation Plan
Phase 1: Public Awareness Campaign (April – June 2025)

• Educate citizens on the benefits of a car-free lifestyle through billboards and mandatory workshops.
• Set up “Car Surrender Centers” where vehicles will be scrapped in exchange for a free bike.

Phase 2: Enforcement & Infrastructure Changes (July – December 2025)

• Convert major roads into bike lanes and pedestrian walkways.
• Implement strict penalties for unauthorized car use, including exile to rural areas.

Phase 3: Nationwide Rollout (January 2026 onwards)

• Expand the program to all cities, ensuring a traffic-free future across the country.

Expected Outcomes

• Zero traffic congestion.
• A 90% reduction in urban carbon emissions.
• A healthier population with reduced obesity rates.
• An economy boosted by the new bicycle industry.

Conclusion
By implementing these modest and reasonable reforms, we will create a faster, healthier, and more environmentally friendly society. Those unwilling to participate may seek alternative living arrangements in less progressive areas. We urge city officials to act swiftly in approving this plan before another morning commute is wasted in gridlock.